EBI: The key aspect holding you back is the lack of focus on the question – this means you can’t get out of level 2 (D grade or lower). Although you mention the wording from the question (‘production and consumption’) a couple of times, it really feels like an afterthought and doesn’t link to the majority of your points. Without that clear thread or argument running through the essay you will struggle to reach the higher grades.
- You need a proper introduction that answers the question broadly and introduces your case study. You seem to launch straight in and that adds to the feeling you’re never in full control of the essay.
- Linked to the previous points, your topic sentences need serious work. A topic sentence should be clear, simple, relate to the question and make the reader absolutely sure what the following paragraph will address. Not enough of your topic sentences do this. Did you plan the essay? I wonder if the lack of thread running through it is down to a lack of planning the argument? Just a thought.
- Finally, you are lacking quotes and media theory. With this particular essay written online with full access to your notes I am quite disappointed to only see a couple of quotes and very little theory. Much more required for the next assessment.
- Although you’ve got some good examples and statistics, where are your examples of citizen journalism? This feels like a missed opportunity – particularly as you don’t go on to discuss the potential benefits and drawbacks of citizen journalism in any detail.
- Marxism paragraph confused – it seems to suggest 20 years ago the mainstream media was left-wing? Not sure if that’s what you meant – or indeed if you can back that up.
LR: Publish this feedback on your blog. Then, write two new sections for this essay – a strong introduction answering the question from both sides and clearly introducing your News case study. Then, re-write the Marxism paragraph bringing in Gramsci’s Hegemony, a variety of examples (recent election?) and linking clearly to the question.
Learner Response:
The Developments of new/digital media has made audience more powerful as they are now actively producing their own content on the internet and therefore have more freedom. Online blogs, forums, global information and social networking sites has increased self-expression for the audience which establishes that they are active consumers and therefore are powerful. Through the developments of new/digital media “the web has the power to show people’s different views” (Kroteski 2012). It could be suggested that the audience are no longer passive as they can now actively challenging to dominate ideologies through social media. Meanwhile the new and digital media doesn’t always lead to a positive views and values, it allows allot of young people to access things they shouldn’t see such as pornography or to get to attached to pop culture influencing them negatively, and according to the hypodermic needle theory new and digital media as a massive influence on society today.
Marxist perspective would argue that audiences are not empowered through the development of new and digital media. As Marxists argue that mass media are a tool used by the ruling bodies/elite that reinforce this statement made by Gramsci who used the concept of hegemony to describe the dominance of one social class over another e.g. the ruling class. Furthermore, Chompsky's theory also stems from this hegemonic view as he talks about 'manufacturing consent ‘and the ruling class brainwashing people into believing that something is 'natural or common sense' (hypodermic needle model). In addition, the global village promoted dominant ideologies and some can argue that whether this is good or bad, focusing particularly on Americanisation and Western ideologies is new and and digital media becoming more diverse or re more cultures being subordinated by Americanisation. This links well with major media conglomerate such as Google with 50 billion revenues, Facebook with 5 billion and New Corporation with 33 billion.
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